Buyer: “Sorry. It’s a bit short notice.”
Seller: “No problem, that’s what I specialise in – providing a quick turnaround.”
B: “How much would it be?”
S: “That depends how you’d want it done.”
B: “What would you recommend?”
S: “Drive-by shootings are very popular… although, some people find them too obvious – you know, in the ‘I-hired-someone’ kind of sense. A mugging-gone-wrong would probably suit your needs best.”
B: “Ah, yes, ok. But would I have to be there, I mean being mugged as well?”
S: “Well, I guess it would help if you’d want to be excluded as a suspect straight away. In that case, it would be good for you to get messed up a bit as well, you know what I mean.”
B: “Hm, I don’t think I’d like that. I really can’t do with blood. Makes me feel really squeamish.”
S: “Ok, then it would be better if he could be mugged on his own, somewhere dark. Quick stabbing, taking all his valuables… you get my drift?”
B: “ Oh yes, that sounds excellent. He does go once a week to see this woman in one of those horribly seedy side-street hotels.”
S: “Perfect. Shall we go for that then? One mugging-gone-wrong. Do you want this with one, two or three stabbings?”
B: “Hm, yes, three please, and make it last as long as possible; he deserves that.”
S: “Ok, three stabbings, extra long. Have you got a date in mind?”
B: “Yes, 2nd of October, please. It will be his 50th birthday.”
S: “Aw, that’s lovely. Right, that’s £5,000 please in advance and another £5,000 after completion. All in cash if you don’t mind.”
Caren is a qualified and experienced digital copy & content writer with both a corporate and small business owner background. She runs KreativeInc Agency, a web design, development and content creation agency with her autistic son Callum Gamble.
She specialises in creating Inbound Marketing content for business websites and blogs. Using her expert knowledge, skills and personal experience in business development, personal improvement and autism, she crafts content that makes people take action. Her work is found in retail publications, professional websites, on her writer’s platform StoryBlog and more.
She is also an active advocate of neurodiversity in the workplace and co-founder of the NeuroPool network, neuropool.co.uk. Here, she is organising free educational workshops for employers on how to utilise the extraordinary talent found in people with autism, ADHD, dyspraxia and dyslexia within their business.
When she isn’t typing away on her keyboard or spreading her mission, you can see her having her nose buried in a book or hiking up and down the steep hills of the Yorkshire countryside with her husband, son and daughter.
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